I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize