I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
