My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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