Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
