actually, I'm a sock model
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
