Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My underwear smells like fireworks.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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