I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
