Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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