At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
