similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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