on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
