if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
