Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
