I heard we made out
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
