good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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