I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
