we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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