their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
