You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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