therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Couch. On fire.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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