I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so that wasnt chicken after all
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
