I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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