He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
