I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
