so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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