I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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