My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
