i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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