Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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