I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i believe in u and ur pee
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