Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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