The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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