i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
