who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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