how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
