Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
