She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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