Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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