White coat. Heels.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
