It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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