she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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