I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
