didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
