Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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