this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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