OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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