He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
