He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
