also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I need moral support for this bender
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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