Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
