Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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