okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
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At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So vagazzling was a success
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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