No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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