just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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