I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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