another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
