and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
